Hello Medium! Once more I am on here to express myself and well….to free write! So, Happy New Year to all! Obviously I’ve been away for a little while from my last post but I’m back. Again I was attending school and I am happy to proclaim that I passed the semester with flying colors. Sadly my time at the community college has ended and now I am sort of in limbo of what I should do next. Obviously the next thing is to pursue the next degree, which for me would be my B.A. in English, but I don’t know if I should/ can/ and or want to. I had other plans for myself five years ago, I planned to go to Taiwan after I finished with my Associates degree and reunite with that special someone. Hell I even shipped out one of my pooches (remember that early post I did about shipping my dog to Taiwan?) and little by little I was setting things up. However, last year my special someone distanced herself more than what the CDC recommended. I really don’t know what happened but all she told me was that she was going to be busy and wouldn’t be able to answer me for a while. This was September and now it’s January. I spoke with her on Christmas and New Years but it was small dialog and with the time difference, I received those replies when I was sleeping. Yeah it doesn’t look so good does it? I acknowledge that, but I just don’t understand why though? We’ve been together since 2012 and we held good communication even when she left for good to Taiwan in 2015. Perhaps the long distance relationship finally took it’s toll. I wish I could’ve gone and moved with her sooner, but I was so unprepared at that time. I remember my first visit to Taiwan and meeting her her father. He was a well established man that I couldn’t ever see myself reaching his success, but I idolized. Then I reflected on myself and was disappointed to see that I haven’t accomplished nothing. How could I live there with no type of education to find a job to at least provide for myself? I never wanted to be a burden on anyone’s mind and it’s that very reason as to why I had to pay for college out of my pocket instead of relying on my parents. This decision costed me time, that and some other personal problems. ughhhhh. However, three years ago things looked better. I saved enough money to reenroll and finally finish college. The following year CoVid hit and stalled a couple of things. (Making the wait a little longer.) I feel that maybe the problems happened with the whole CoVid thing. I remember I was set to visit her again in the spring (right when CoVid was spiking in the US). We had an argument about the risks and how not to travel and who should be wearing these surgical masks. (I’m the idiot who felt that the masks were not necessary for the general public at that moment. Now I see she was right.) I didn’t go to Taiwan that year. Slowly we started talking less. September came and here I am today, a little more than one year without seeing her. I really want to live in Taiwan, I don’t know why but I just see something there that I want. A simple life perhaps. I don’t know but I wanted a life over there and I saw her in it. Now I desperately want to go over there to see her for myself. I WANT to see her face to face, show her that I was a man of my word. I WANT to understand why the silence? Maybe it is over but I WANT her to declare it. To look me in the eye and say it. Depending on what she say’s, I will then have a better idea of what to do next with my life.
Sorry I vented on here but in all honesty, I don’t know who to tell this to. I’m too embarrassed to talk to friends and family. Although I’m slowly getting to the point where I will. Obviously I sent her my fair share of venting but I’m not getting a reaction. (heck I might not get one on here either) but writing about it helps. I even made a bogus account on a dating app just so I could get an opinion from other women. (I don’t really have any friends who are girls, maybe I shouldn’t be using this method either. Majority of them might be going through there break up as well. Perhaps strangers on Omegle is a better route.) She has influenced a lot of what I’ve written in school and now I would like to share one of my works that has her presences in it. I really do miss her, lord knows if our relationship does end how will it effect my writing or even my personality.
So this assignment my class dealt with creating our ‘Hint fiction story’, which was popularly introduced by Robert Swartwood. (Who was inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s six-word story; “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn”.) Which basically is a short-short story consisting of 25 or less words, but suggest a larger, more complex chain of events. And without further ado, I present…
Nonstop 16 Hours.
I want to go.
Even when you said we got nothing in common.
I still want to go.
Hope you’re at the airport. Love you.
This is a pic from the first time I landed at Taoyuan Int. Airport.